12.10.2024 WHO WOULD WIN? VOL. 8: THE WINTER EDITION!!! With JASON LENZI!
MONSTER PARTY WANTS TO DECK YOU IN YOUR HALLS!
JAMES GONIS, SHAWN SHERIDAN, LARRY STROTHE, and MATT WEINHOLD invite you once again to experience a series of cage matches in our audio octagon. But this time, these fights of fancy have a seasonal sting! Can your headphone-bruised cauliflower ears stand the Christmassy carnage that is… WHO WOULD WIN? VOL. 8: THE WINTER EDITION!!!
If this is your first time attending a WHO WOULD WIN? event, the rules are quite simple: We choose horror/sci-fi/fantasy characters to enter a room, stage a fictitious battle for their lives and debate who would leave the victor. It’s pretty much the type of game you used to play in the schoolyard, only this one doesn’t leave you with dodgeball-induced internal injuries.
We’ve done many of these episodes in the past, and they’re always a ton of fun. But for this round, we decided that the timing necessitated a winter twist. We’re including at least one character from a holiday-themed film, TV show, book, or legend for each of our fictional bouts. Expect an exotic range of fruitcake-fueled fighters plucked from Star Wars, Rankin Bass, Disney Animation, The Peanuts, The Twilight Zone, cult horror, holiday folklore, and more!
Who will win? Who will lose? And how do you get elf blood out of a carpet?
Joining us to cheer on these winter wonderland warriors, is a return guest who is also a MONSTER PARTY benefactor! He’s a RONDO AWARD-WINNING writer, producer, actor, host, podcaster, and voice artist, who also happens to be the founder of BIF! BANG POW! TOYS! So, if you are a PATREON member who has ever ordered merch, you probably own something he helped create. Please welcome back the non-stop delight that is… JASON LENZI! (POD STALLIONS, PLASTIC SOUL: THE ENTERTAINMENT EARTH POP CULTURE SHOW, A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE, IN SEARCH OF TOMORROW, LIFE AFTER FLASH, CANNONBALL, BANDS REUNITED, BEAT THE GEEKS)
YOU GOT TO FIGHT! FOR YOUR RIGHT! FOR HOLLY!!!!
Guest(s)
Jason Lenzi:
Follow Jason: Jason Lenzi (@lenzijason) • Instagram profile | Bif Bang Pow!
Key Topics Discussed
Guest & Theme: Toy mogul and Monster Party friend Jason Lenzi (founder of Biff Bang Pow Toys) returns to the show to officiate a "Winter Edition" of the "Who Would Win" format, pitching holiday and winter-themed characters against one another in fights to the death.
Animated Titans: The debate kicks off with a clash between stop-motion giants, pitting the Bumble (the Abominable Snow Monster from Rudolph) against the bag-of-bugs Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas, debating animalistic rage versus cunning intellect.
Battle of the Curmudgeons: The group analyzes a unique "battle of the wheelchairs" between the evil Mr. Potter (It's a Wonderful Life) and the Burgermeister Meisterburger (Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town), breaking down which bitter old man has the most rage and "pure evil" to survive.
Larry vs. Frozen: A matchup between Frosty the Snowman and Olaf from Frozen devolves into chaos as the hosts tease Larry for having never seen Frozen, forcing him to come up with an explanation of Olaf's powers.
Bizarre Deep Cuts: The episode features incredibly specific matchups, including a fight between two versions of "Drunk Art Carney" (one from The Twilight Zone vs. one from the Star Wars Holiday Special) and a massive gang war between Santa's Elves, Oompa Loompas, and the Seven Dwarves.
Timestamps
00:00:17 – Introduction and welcome to guest Jason Lenzi.
00:05:30 – The Bumble vs. Oogie Boogie: The first matchup pits Rudolph’s Abominable Snow Monster against the sack of bugs from The Nightmare Before Christmas.
00:14:05 – Mr. Potter vs. Burgermeister Meisterburger: A battle of the bitter, wheelchair-bound old men from It’s a Wonderful Life and Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town.
00:21:08 – The Babadook vs. Elf on the Shelf: A supernatural matchup between the terrifying storybook monster and the Christmas spy.
00:26:41 – Stripe vs. Edward Scissorhands: The leader of the Gremlins fights the gentle, scissor-handed creation.
00:31:28 – It’s Alive Baby vs. Baby Jesus: A controversial debate over whether the mutant baby from It’s Alive could defeat the divine infant.
00:40:43 – Ricky Chapman vs. R.J. MacReady: The "Garbage Day" killer from Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 takes on Kurt Russell’s flamethrower-wielding survivor from The Thing.
00:44:29 – Frosty the Snowman vs. Olaf: The group debates which living snowman would win, derailed by Larry’s admission that he has never seen Frozen.
00:52:45 – Hellboy vs. Krampus: Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy faces off against the legendary Christmas demon.
00:56:35 – Jack Torrance vs. Annie Wilkes: A Stephen King showdown between the axe-wielding dad from The Shining and the hobbling nurse from Misery.
00:59:18 – The Bogeymen vs. The Morlocks: The monsters from Babes in Toyland fight the subterranean creatures from The Time Machine.
01:04:15 – Stripe vs. Billy: A rematch for Stripe (Gremlins), this time against the obscene phone caller from Black Christmas.
01:08:24 – Lucy van Pelt vs. Peppermint Patty: A Charlie Brown brawl debating Lucy’s psychological warfare versus Patty’s tomboy toughness.
01:16:47 – Drunk Art Carney vs. Drunk Art Carney: A meta-matchup between Carney’s department store Santa (Twilight Zone) and his trader character Saun Dann (Star Wars Holiday Special).
01:25:24 – Krampus vs. Kevin McCallister: The Christmas demon tries to invade the booby-trapped house from Home Alone.
01:29:54 – The Gang Fight: A massive brawl between Santa’s Elves, the Oompa Loompas, and the Seven Dwarves.
01:39:42 – The Lightning Round: The hosts run through rapid-fire matchups including Narnia’s Jadis vs. Jack Frost, Heat Miser vs. Human Torch, and Chucky vs. Charlie-in-the-Box.
01:54:07 – Conclusion: Wrap-up, plugs for Jason’s projects, and listener shout-outs.
Resources/Links Mentioned
Films
Mad Max (Franchise): A joke is made that by the time the show ends, the participants will be riding on the back of one of the villains' choppers.
The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie Boogie is pitched against the Bumble for a battle of winter monsters.
It’s a Wonderful Life: The wheelchair-bound Mr. Potter is chosen for a "battle of the bitter old men".
The Babadook: The title monster is chosen to fight "The Elf on the Shelf" in a battle of supernatural intruders.
Bad Ronald: The creepiness of "The Elf on the Shelf" is compared to the title character of this TV movie.
Gremlins: Stripe, the leader of the Gremlins, is selected for a matchup.
Edward Scissorhands: The gentle, scissor-handed creation is pitched against Stripe.
James Bond (Franchise): The character is referenced to argue that killing gets easier after the first time.
The Shining: Edward Scissorhands' stare is compared to Jack Nicholson’s character, and later Jack Torrance is used in a matchup.
It’s Alive: The mutant baby is chosen for a fight against Baby Jesus.
The Little Drummer Boy: A clarification is asked regarding which version of "Baby Jesus" is being discussed.
Jesus Christ Superstar: It is clarified that the "Jesus" in the matchup is not the one from this musical.
Superman: Baby Jesus' potential hidden strength is compared to Superman's toddler strength.
The Omen: An argument is made that just as Satan protected Damien, God would protect Baby Jesus.
It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive: Michael Moriarty’s role in the franchise is discussed.
Bang the Drum Slowly: Michael Moriarty’s role in this film alongside De Niro is mentioned.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2: Ricky Chapman, the "Garbage Day!" killer, is chosen for a matchup.
The Thing: R.J. MacReady is pitched against Ricky Chapman.
Frosty the Snowman: Frosty is selected for a battle of the living snowmen.
Frozen: Olaf is pitched against Frosty, leading to a discussion about one participant never having seen the film.
Wicked: A lack of pop culture knowledge is mocked by asking if this film will also be skipped.
Avatar: This massive movie is brought up as another example of something everyone has seen except one person.
Jack Frost (1997): A joke is made that the matchup was expected to include the killer snowman from this horror movie.
Terrifier 3: A joke is made about watching this film with cocoa instead of Frozen.
The Lion King: Frozen is confused with this film, asking if it is the one about the lion who dies.
Hellboy: The Guillermo del Toro version of Hellboy is pitched against Krampus.
Krampus: It is clarified that the mythological Krampus is preferred over the version from the 2015 movie.
Misery: Annie Wilkes is pitted against Jack Torrance from The Shining.
Babes in Toyland (aka March of the Wooden Soldiers): The Bogeymen from this Laurel & Hardy classic are chosen for a fight.
The Time Machine: The Morlocks are pitched against the Bogeymen.
Babes in Toyland (1986): The TV movie remake starring Keanu Reeves is mentioned as being "creepy".
Black Christmas: Billy, the killer from the attic, is pitted against Stripe from Gremlins.
The Bad Seed: The shoes in this film are referenced to explain how dangerous Lucy's footwear is.
The Star Wars Holiday Special: Art Carney’s trader character (Saun Dann) is pitted against his Twilight Zone character.
Home Alone: Kevin McCallister is pitched against Krampus.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: The Seven Dwarves are included in a three-way gang fight.
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory: The Oompa Loompas are included in the gang fight.
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes: The elves realizing they are supernatural is compared to the ape uprising in this film.
Return of the Secaucus 7: A joke is made about the "Return of the Secaucus Seven" in reference to the Dwarves discussion.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Jadis (The White Witch) is chosen for a lightning round matchup.
Jack Frost (1979): The Rankin/Bass version of Jack Frost is pitted against Jadis.
The Abominable Snowman (1957): The creature from the Hammer film is matched against the Doctor Who Yeti.
Clash of the Titans: Pegasus is pitted against King Moonracer.
The Year Without a Santa Claus: Heat Miser is matched against the Human Torch.
Fantastic Four: The Human Torch is chosen to fight Heat Miser.
Child’s Play: Chucky is pitted against Charlie-in-the-Box from Rudolph.
The 7th Voyage of Sinbad: The Skeleton Swordsman is matched against Jack Skellington.
Night of the Lepus: The giant killer rabbits (Lepus) are pitted against Krampus.
The Giant Gila Monster: A shout-out is given to Film Masters for their release of this film, which features a Monster Party commentary track.
Television
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: "The Bumble" (Abominable Snow Monster) is selected as a combatant, and the special is later referenced regarding Yukon Cornelius and King Moonracer.
Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town: The Burgermeister Meisterburger is selected to fight Mr. Potter.
Doctor Who: The "Weeping Angels" from this series are referenced to describe how the "Elf on the Shelf" moves when not being watched.
South Park ("The Spirit of Christmas"): The classic "Jesus vs. Santa" fight from the pilot short is acknowledged.
Frosty the Snowman: The title character is selected for a fight, and later the narrator (Jimmy Durante) is pitted against the narrator of Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town.
A Charlie Brown Christmas: Lucy van Pelt is selected for a matchup.
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving: Peppermint Patty is selected to fight Lucy.
The Twilight Zone ("The Night of the Meek"): Art Carney’s drunk Santa character is chosen for a matchup.
Skeleton Crew: It is revealed that this new Star Wars show uses footage from the Holiday Special.
Ewoks: The animation studio Nelvana is mentioned as the company that later produced this cartoon series.
Droids: Nelvana is also credited with producing this Star Wars cartoon series.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas!: The animated Grinch is pitted against Jack Skellington.
The Brady Bunch: An obscure "Wolfman" action figure is described as looking like a character from this show.
Gilmore Girls: A joke is made about a "minor holiday character" winning an award over a character from this show.
Books, Comics, etc.
Marvel Comics: Sean compares the Burgermeister Meisterburger to the character Kingpin from Marvel Comics.
The Bible: Jason sarcastically references "this thing called the Bible" when discussing the nature of Baby Jesus.
Classics Illustrated: Jason jokes about a "Classics Illustrated version" of the Bible where Baby Jesus might have super strength.
Hellboy (Comics): While discussing the matchup, Jason mentions he pictures the fight as a "high-concept comic book" that he would pay to see.
Animal Farm: Matt compares the potential uprising of the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys to George Orwell's Animal Farm.
Fantastic Four: Sean references the superhero team when introducing the Human Torch for a matchup.
"Do They Know It's Christmas?" (Song): This Band Aid single is pitted against "We Are the World" in a battle of charity songs.
"We Are the World" (Song): This USA for Africa single is pitted against "Do They Know It's Christmas?".
Plaid Stallions: Jason mentions this website/blog, noting that he hosts a podcast with its creator, Brian Heiler.
The Mego Museum: Jason mentions this website, which he also collaborates with alongside Brian Heiler.
Film Masters (YouTube Channel): Sean shouts out this channel for hosting the Monster Party commentary track for The Giant Gila Monster.
